Sat
29
Mar '08
I’m still here! Just been busy.
Sat
16
Feb '08
You know it when you see it. You feel it when it’s happening.
You know what I am talking about: The Scene.
You’re in a show that’s going decently. Nothing major. Nothing that really jumps out at you as being amazing, but nothing that is putting you to sleep either.
The it happens: The Scene.
You may not know it’s there right away. In fact, most of the time it’s a slow-building masterpiece of seemingly calculated moves. The reality is it’s born out of all the ingredients we know we need: relationship, giving information, acting, recognizing what’s happening, breathing life into the exchange that’s occuring between two people.
Last night it happened.
We took the stage (Me, Barry, Steve, Rich, Tim, Blaine and Charlie) and were given the suggestion “Cow”. Opening scene turned out to be some form of a cow-milking competition between Barry and Steve. Steve aspired for something larger in his life outside of living in a small town, milking cows in a competition, etc.
There were two scenes after the opening, and then it hit….
From my vantage point at the piano (standing next to Steve) I saw Barry and Blaine walk out. Barry took a chair and kneeled on it. His initiating line was something to the effect of “this your first time trucker” or “you a trucker?” Blaine agreed and then Barry beautifully set up the fact that he was a male prostitute in a truck stop bathroom, under the impression that he was being solicited for sex of some sort. A “glory hole” scene if you will.
The audience was immediately hooked.
Blaine’s answers to Barry (who sold this scene like a pro) were a bit vague, so Steve turned to me and said “it’s about a glory hole, right?”. I said “yea” and Steve walked on, sat in a chair between Blaine and Barry and put his thumb to his index finger - making a hole. Perfect move.
Barry continued to sell the scene as Blaine still hadn’t figured out exactly what was going on in the scene. Blaine’s answers to Barry though were just broad enough to apply to whatever wonderous gifts Barry threw at him. The crowd was absolutely electric.
Barry ran the gamut of “is this your first time, do you come here often, you wanna role play”, but Blaine didn’t seem to know where he was. At this point, Barry stands up on a chair and mimes as if he’s leaning over a wall.
Blaine then says “oh, I get it - I’m in a restroom” and the audience ROARS. Absolutely perfect. Blaine then says he hasn’t a clue what’s going on due to his heroin consumption due to being lonely on the road, and Barry then becomes somewhat of a counselor.
Scenes like this are so rare. The perfect blend of everything, and when you’re watching it - it’s the scene that you talk about for months. It was the scene that we all spoke about after the show (among others).
Other fun times in the show included a scene with Rich and Charlie where it was discovered Charlie was a police officer who protected the town by making sure no tornadoes came to town. It was also discovered that Charlie never wore a shirt because a tornado took it from him in a battle. After a spell, I walked on as his idiot side-kick and told him that I heard over the radio in the car that a funnel cloud was spotted a town over. I also told him it was coming our way. This gave Barry the chance to play a tornado later in the show who called out Charlie by name to come wrestle him. It was hilarious.
I also got to play a cow in a scene with Tim. He was brushing me and speaking to me while the rest of his family was in the house preparing dinner. I overhear Steve say that Tim was out sitting with the cow that he thinks sings to him. Perfect gift as I now have motivation in the scene other than just being a cow. I have a relationship with Tim that involves me singing to him. He and I sing a few bars of a few different songs, and he and Steve have some great exchanges.
Steve: We’re having hamburger helper in 20 minutes. You’re coming to dinner, right?
Tim: No, I’m not eating meat anymore.
Me: (starts to sing a few verses of ‘Meat is Murder’ by the Smiths)
Steve: Well, you just want some bread then?
Tim: Yea, gimme a slice of bread inbetween two slices of bread…
Audience laughs.
Asher starts to play a song that to me, sounds like “The Rose”. I immediately start singing “Some say love…….. it is a river… that leads…..”
Barry comes in ballerina-style, turning with his arms out…. that he then morphs into the tornado looking for Charlie, who was also dancing out on the stage.
Perfect transformation.
We ran about 26 minutes, but it sure seemed short. We had more fuel to use and wanted to get back to the original scene, but it was 11:45PM already.
Show like this make me so happy. I absolutely love improvising, and love this team. We’re up again tonight, and I can’t wait. In a rare treat, I will actually be able to make a Saturday night show!! I’m not working (on vacation), so I will be able to make it. I’m happy beyond belief.
Thu
7
Feb '08
I guess it has.
Many things have transpired since my last submission to this ‘blog’ but they are too many to accurately recall.
Bullet Lounge has had some really good shows. I haven’t been able to make them all as sometimes it just isn’t possible.
One of the last shows I was in, we all had a nice group scene where Rich was a father to two kids. They were all out in the garage about to fix a car. Rich mentioned “when help gets here, I’m gonna teach you kids….” I heard this ‘when help gets here’ and decided to come into the scene as the Grandfather.
Now, my options were many:
1.) Grandfather. Seemed like a good choice, and it was my first choice. A gut-reaction. I was able to play the somewhat impatient, VietNam War Vet grandfather who had mild flashbacks every now and then. Nothing over the top. I tried to play it as real as possible while still stretching some truths. I think it went well.
2.) Wife of Rich. I could have come in as Rich’s wife. I could have been an expert female mechanic (and made Rich look inept) or I could have come in as a bumbling, bad stereotype of a housewife.
3.) Mentally challenged son no one ever talks about. Meh. Some might find that funny, but how many times have you seen THAT scene? I’m always careful when I portray someone whom I intend on being ‘challenged’. I don’t ever want to offend. Plus, we’ve all seen that character a million times on that stage.
4.) Neighbor. Meh. No real tie to any of the established characters. Would I be the snide neighbor, or the super-helpful-and-nice neighbor? Decisions.
What it’s all about is decisions. In this ‘game’, we all make decisions. Some people always seem to consistently make the correct decision, but rest assured that some of them are acting only on one of the many decisions they have going into a scene in the first split seconds. Sometimes, a decision is made, and a decision by another player makes the initial decision look brilliant. Support is a wonderful thing
I feel that making that decision is one of the hardest things we do in improv. The decisions are what I kick myself/pride myself about after the show is over. Making a decision that works for the best is a great feeling. Making one that lays a stinker onstage is a horrible feeling.
Sat
8
Dec '07
I drove up and down Addison looking for parking. There wasn’t a space to be had. I went all the way down to Sheffield, then turned around and headed back West.
Sure enough, there were two spaces open on the OTHER side of the street. Using alleys, I managed to get turned around and got to heading back East… only to find that BOTH spots were already taken.
Perfect. It was alreaddy 10:15PM and I was getting nervous. I hate being late for anything.
I kept heading East, and lo and behold; a parking space was available around Racine. Racine? I’ve never parked that close. Tonight will be a good night!
I entered iO with my to-go pizza slices and headed for the green room. I walked past some people I knew, and then I bumped into an old instructor who was in town and at the end of the bar.
“Hey John!” I exclaim as I hold out my hand. “How are you?” We exchange information about how we are both doing, and I tell him it’s great to see him.
if you read Warren’s blog, he mentions that iO is like a club house. A place where like-minded individuals come together and work simultaneously towards a common goal. He also speaks of a bond that’s forged there, and that too is correct. Students bond with other students, teachers, employees and sometimes with audience members. It really is a magical place.
I walk past John and into the actual green room. Prouty, Blaine and Asher were there. Rich gives me a look and says “well, with you we are at three. We’ll need some sit-in’s.” I begin to think about who can sit in, and Prouty is already on it as he casually mentions that he will ask both Uhlir and Lutz. Yes, John is in town and was there at the theater.
Let me go back to what I was saying before, about the iO theater being a club house where you form bonds.
When I was a student, I went to a lot of shows. A LOT. John Lutz was one of my favorite performers there. It always seemed like the guy never got nervous. He never made a move that wasn’t at least really good. He always played at the top of his intelligence. He was supportive, energetic, intelligent, and endearing. I’d see him in Armando, on the team Valhalla, and every now and then he’d be in some kind of thrown-together show concept. I’d seen him perform with some great combinations. I was in the audience for the legendary “Charna’s Children” show. It’s still one of the best shows I’ve ever seen in my life. Right up there with some of the TJ and Dave shows, the last Georgia Pacific show (where they did the bat) and the People of Earth show where their suggestion was “catastrophic” and they almost destroyed the theater.
Craig Uhlir was another guy I admired. Very unique, genuine nice guy, and a very good improvisor. He would commit to a scene like no other, and really brought energy to the show he was in.
Over the years, I’d been coached by Uhlir as a substitute with Jim Carlson couldn’t make a Johnny Roast Beef rehearsal, and I took every single elective that Lutz offered before he left for NY. Every.Single.One.
Back to the green room. Prouty heads out of the room and Lutz and Uhlir come back in. They’re going to play with us.
I stood in that green room and was immediately overcome with the best feeling. I really can’t describe it other than it just felt perfect. Here these guys were - legends in the history of the theater, and they were excited to play with us. Here were two guys who I had as instructors, and now I was going to get the chance to share a stage with them in a performance.
Things happen for a reason, and things also happen at the right time for a reason.
Had this scenario happened 5 years ago or so, I wouldn’t have been able to shake the nerves. I would have been a total mess worrying if I was going to be good enough to play with these giants. I would be absolutely consumed with thoughts of “don’t ruin it Saveley. Pay attention at all times. Listen to everything that’s said. Don’t fuck this up.”
Last night I was filled with nothing but confidence as we took the stage and “Snitch” was given as the suggestion. There we were…… onstage… starting a show and I was up there with two of my heroes.
Yes, I said ‘heroes’. As a student, there are improvisors you watch and hope to be as good as someday. You look to see these performers whenever possible because you like their style of improv. You like how they operate onstage. You see the situations they find themselves in onstage, and you hopefully learn from their navigation.
The show last night was really good. We went all over the place. Characters were played, scenes were good, and the audience was entertained. Before I knew it, we had naturally and organically (there’s that word!!) found ourselves back in the opening scene formation and morphed back into it. In 27 minutes, we had gone from a starting point out into different directions, and then back again. Lights pulled. Show complete. Lights up, hands together, bow to the audience applause and exit the stage.
Prouty was pleased with the show. We all were. Uhlir said he’d sit in whenever we wanted him to, and Lutz said he had fun in the show as he thanked us for the opportunity.
As I left the theater, I realized that it was times like this that make it all worthwhile. It was shows like that, with friends like that, that make all my efforts worth it. All the driving into the city. The parking fiasco. Everything.
I also thought it was great that a great guy like John could come back into town, head into iO, and still be treated as if he never left. I was glad I could be a part of it all. I truly feel blessed being at iO.
Thu
6
Dec '07
1.) If Stacy Peterson left Drew for another man, why hasn’t she contacted ANYONE since her disappearance? Behind closed doors, with only his lawyers present; does Drew admit to the killing and say ‘ok, now make sure I walk’? Does he maintain his facade with the lawyers as well? I have no idea how that all works.
2.) Rachael Mason, your blog here is great. I love your letters-style blogs. *poke*.
3.) I just finished day 31 in the Power 90 (revisited). I’ve taken more days off th an the program calls for, but my workouts have been more intense than when I destroy myself 6 days in a row, then rest one.
4.) Christmas. Meh.
5.) I’m currently in a Mastermind character on the Victory server in City of Villains. I’m Thugs/Traps, and I’m 2.8 bars away from Level 38. I don’t know what power I will take at L-38. Initially, I thought “Recall Foe” as I will take out Malta Sappers that way, but I can also just use my Seeker Drones on them and wait for my thugs/traps to take them all out. Maybe I’ll get Aid Self to heal myself with. Maybe I’ll get Super Speed just for fun. I just don’t know.
6.) The Bears play the Redskins tonight. Rex needs to throw TD passes to Berrian, and Portis needs to rush for 300 yards and 5 TD’s. I’m more concerned with my Fantasy Football than I am about the Bears needing a win. Their season is over. Let me break it down for you:
QB: Rex is, well… Rex. Flashes of talent, but inconsistent and too short. Griese isn’t any better, and actually has a much weaker arm. God only knows why (money) you’ll never see what Orton can do. The guy is perma-benched for some reason.
RB: Benson is a bust. Adrian Peterson is a back-up back. You’ll never see Wolfe more than a few plays.
O-Line: Old, soft, ineffective.
D-Line: Old, soft, ineffective. Can’t stop the run at all.
Coaching: Idiotic, frustrating, too defensive-oriented. Would it kill them to think about scoring points rather than take-aways?
7.) I still haven’t seen “No Country For Old Men”. My fault entirely. As mush as I dislike Will Smith, I do still want to see “I Am Legend” when it comes out.
8.) Recently purchased “Funhouse” by the Stooges and “Diamond Girl” by Seals and Crofts at the used CD store. Each were $6.99. Nice. That Stooges CD is astounding. I”m also reading an Iggy Pop bio, and it’s been really good.
9.) Tomorrow is a Bullet Lounge show and the “What Not To Wear” marathon! I love Fridays!!
10.) Working all weekend. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.
Thu
29
Nov '07
Hey.
OK, a pregnant woman was tasered in Ohio recently. Now, when you just hear “a pregnant woman was tasered”, you will immediately think “dear God, what in the world is happening here?” Upon further review of the details of the incident, you learn that the woman went into a Police department and tried to leave her 1 year old son there because she was ‘tired of playing games’ with the baby’s father. The woman refused to answer any of the officer’s questions, she became frustrated with the officer, then she just plain tried to leave.
“Dear God, what in the world is happening here” is still a question you ask, but now it carries a little different feel; doesn’t it?
Who the hell walks into a police department saying they’re “tired of playing games” with the baby’s father, and tries to abandon the child at the police department? I’ll tell you: lazy people who don’t look responsibility in the eye and say ‘this is mine and I must deal with it instead of passing it on to anything else’.
The officer tied to detain the woman as she tried to flee the station (intentionally leaving her 1 year old child in the process), but the woman resisted being handcuffed. She got up as the child got away from her and tried to flee. That’s when the police officer tasered the woman. More details will tell you that she was wearing a winter coat and did not tell the officer she was pregnant.
Have we finally gotten to the point where people, as citizens and human beings, just won’t ever take responsibility for their actions, or the situations their behavior has placed them in? Are some cops taser-happy: I believe they are. Ask yourself this though: are you prepared to walk in a mile in their shoes? Can you realistically, honestly, and intelligently comprehend what some cops go through on a daily basis? Do some police departments have the benefit of being located in areas where nothing outside of a few minor domestic disputes happen? Sure. There are also a bunch of police departments that are located in a “war zone” where things you and I can’t imagine happen.
getting off my soapbox…
Coboys and Packers tonight. I’m at work and unless we get the NFL Network, I’ll miss that game too. I lost in Fantasy Football last week thanks to the lack of success from players like Clinton Portis, LenDale White, and most of my receiving core. I also blame the ‘experts’ at Yahoo.com for telling me to sit Willis MaGahee. I think I would have won if I played McGahee over White and Plaxico over one of my worthless receivers… I hate losing.
Yesterday we went into the storage locker in the basement and got all our Christmas decorations out. We decorated the balcony and put up our tree in the apartment. Took us all day. Christmas is a chore.
Yesterday morning, my voice just kind of stopped working. It now comes and goes in spurts, but mostly it’s out. I am not running a fever, no sore throat, no congestion. Just voiceless. You’re welcome.
I bought the “Raising Sand” cd by Robert Plant/Alison Krauss. It’s great. I think I am finally at that age where my music tastes have changed and the youth of today would think I like shit music. Funny how that happens. I stood onstage with bands like the Dead Kennedys, GBH and The Exploited. I’ve seen all kinds of rock bands.. from Alice in Chains to White Zombie and a whole lot inbetween. I’ve bench pressed with Maynard James Keenan of TOOL backstage at Lollapalooza. Life has a funny way of altering itself as you get older.
With my voice gone, I most likely won’t be able to make the show this Friday. That bothers the hell out of me.
I’m almost done with a book called “The Making of Bigfoot” by Greg Long. It’s been absolutely amazing and I can’t wait to finish it. Basically, Roger Patterson’s 1967 Bigfoot film is a hoax. A guy named Bob Heironimus wore an ape suit in the film. Another man named Philip Morris (no relation to the tobacco giant) admitted that Roger Patterson bought a gorilla suit from him back in 1967, and that he (Mr. Morris) also told Patterson how to make the shoulders broader (football pads), arms longer (sticks attached to gloves) and make eyes more realistic (paint areas around eyes black and paint eyeballs on eyelids – having the person keep their eyes closed for full effect). 40 years later, Roger Patterson’s film is still fooling a lot of people as I just saw scientists on television tell me that there’s no way the 1967 film is a man in a suit.
My Thugs/Traps Mastermind just recently hit Level 35. I’m going to respecialize his powers when I get him to Level 37 so I can sell all my old enhancements back to the game for a profit instead of losing them all when I slot Level 40’s in there. I want to make some changes in the power selection as well.
I have to google an answer to getting my voice back. This is nuts.
Remember Blake Lewis? His CD drops Dec 4th I think. Jordin Sparks’ CD isn’t doing so well, and Britney’s CD is now being sold in Canada with a free movie ticket offer. Man, how she has fallen.
Sun
25
Nov '07
Hello all.
Many of you know that I am an improvisor. I’ve been at iO (or Improv Olympic) since around 1999. I’ve been on three teams. I went from “Little Fat Girl” to “Johnny Roast Beef” then to “Bullet Lounge”.
Many of you might also know that I absolutely love improv. I love to perform, and I also love to watch good improv.
We had a show on Friday night and our suggestion was “Where is TJ Miller?”. We went into the montage-style opening, that very quickly morphed into a scene with Steve and Seth. Steve was a casting director looking for the perfect person to cast in his movie. Seth wonderfully played a less-than-average achieving actor who quickly and without question, did everything that Steve asked him to do - regardless of how insane it was.
We also had a group scene where we were Barry’s family asking him how life in L.A. was as a screenwriter. We were a family in a small town who lived their lives off of the earnings from our father’s business. Steve played the father, and his business was selling footballs to wrestlers. So silly, but it worked. We had multiple flashbacks whenever Barry brought up a point where he was trying to prove something, and I think it went well. The audience was with us the entire way.
Rich and I got to play actors who thought they were in a student art film, only to realize that we were in a porno. Barry was the director. We did a small series of cutaway scenes where Rich and I ‘acted’ out our scenes briefly, then were told to ‘cut’ or the scene cutaway back to us talking to Barry about the script itself.
There was a good scene with Seth and I where I played a southern woman who was sitting on the hot-sunny side of the car. It turned into a mapped out scene where Seth was really just coming onto me and using heat metaphors to explain his position. That scene went into him being a southern congressman/lawyer and Steve as either a cop or higher-ranking government official that questioned Seth’s character’s actions/choice of wife.
Overall, the show was pretty good. Not our best, and nowhere near anything resembling a bad show.
I hosted, and for some reason I didn’t do a good job at it. I was snarky, snide, and a bit agitated for some reason. I didn’t mean to be, but it just kind of came out that way. I hate myself when I get like that, and I spoke with the guys a bit about it after the show.
I didn’t really have an answer as to why I was a bit ‘mean’ as a host, but it dawned on me what it was as I was walking back to my car.
We’re at the point now as a team where we don’t know who’s going to be at any show at any given night until a few days/week ahead of time. We’re almost never at full capacity. Brandon’s moved to L.A. Thomas has moved to NYC. TJ is now on a sit-com. Joey and Seth are in TourCo. I believe that Tim and Steve are also involved in Second City as well. Ross is involved with Comedy Sportz and on Baby Wants Candy. I miss Saturdays because of work.
Charlie and Kevin are basically sit-ins, and they’re spotty in attendance as well.
So, on a Friday it’s usually me, Rich, Blaine and Barry that are givens to show up. Anyone else there is gravy, although Steve is usually there as well.
GET TO THE POINT BILL.
Ok. AS I walked back to my car, I just started to feel like “this is the best it’s going to get for me, ever”. I have seemingly missed my window of opportunity in the entertainment field. I’ve either not had enough opportunity to succeed in commercials/television, or I haven’t made the most of the few opportunities I’ve been given. It’s sad, but it’s true.
I’m the oldest guy on Bullet Lounge. I’m usually one of the oldest improvisors in the building when I’m there. Improv is a young man’s game, and it just kind of hit me that I may not have this improv thing for much longer.
Everyone on my team does improv more than I do. Everyone on my team is more involved with auditioning for commercials, etc. I honestly believe that everyone on my team is better than I am at improv. I know where I stand as an improvisor, and since I do it once a week, I am not as good as the rest of my team can be. I have always hoped that I would be better than I am, but for some reason; I never really developed into the improvisor I wanted to be. Now, I know that sometimes I do very well, but those times aren’t frequent enough for my tastes. I also know that it’s just a matter of time until our team gets mixed-morphed again into a conglomerate of people who can make shows instead of people who were on the team originally. It’s a natural cycle. Some people move on in life as success comes for them in other places, and some people will stay in one place until they aren’t useful anymore.
I guess I’m just fearful that I will fade away into obscurity as an improvisor. I’ve been on a team since 2000, and have been on two great teams. I’ve been lucky. I’ve performed in very important and influential slots. It just seems like I’ve already hit my apex, and everything from here on out will be one of two things: a spike upward in skill/ability, or a slow plateau where no ground is gained.
I want to be better. I want to be successful. I realistically know that this is probably as good as it’s going to get for me, and that makes me sad, frustrated, and most likely a bit angry.
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Devin Hester wants to do some kind of a racing/speed commercial with a Chevy Aero Camero (like the one used in “Transformers”) and Chevy’s Director of Communications said ” We would be happy to discuss such an opportunity with Devin Hester. We’re honored that Devin would think of us.” Unreal. Since Devin mentioned something like this, Chevy is all over it. Devin wants to get “a couple of free cars” out of it for doing the commercial.
Hey Chevy: I’ll do the same commercial for a mere $5,000. Keep your cars. Hell, I even drive a Chevy myself. I’ve got a 2003 Cavalier. Seriously, call me and we’ll work something out. You can call me “Hevin Dester” or something like that in the commercial. It would be great.
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The Bulls lost again. How does this team suck so bad?
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I’ve got to make it to a Hawks game or two this season. They’re playing very well for a change.
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Since “Dog The Bounty Hunter” is off the air, “What Not To Wear” is now my new fave show on cable. Man I love that show. My gf and I watch it all the time. We also watch “The Amazing Race”, and as soon as American Idol starts, it’s all over.
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Today I am going to make my gf homemade cream of asparagus soup. I can’t wait! I love to cook.
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Work last night was insane. We did almost $4,000 over in sales from our numbers last year. I had a decent staff, but we just got killed. I gave them each a one-on-one talk as they did their individual server checkouts, and I honestly hope I got to some of them. They’re good people, but some of them need some work. It’s my feeling that I have a duty to perform there aside from making sure the restaurant runs smoothly. I feel that I am there as a gentle guide to them being able to succeed in the world outside of their school, protective parents, etc. I feel like I can help them with that transition by teaching them the concept of what the real world is like outside of mommy and daddy taking care of them 24/7. Some will most likely think I don’t understand their situation, them in particular, etc. I’ve been in this business for over 20 years. I’ve seen and done it all. I can and will help them if they just listen to what I tell them, and make the effort. I give them secrets to the game of life on a daily basis. All they have to do is listen, then use the knowledge I’ve given them. Everything else will fall into place. There are some really wonderful people at that place, and I absolutely enjoy being a part of their early work experience.
Ok, enough. I’ve got to start cracking here.
Thanks again for reading my strange blog.
Fri
23
Nov '07
We passed a Best Buy last night at 11:38PM on our way home from a wonderful Thanksgiving at my gf’s Mom’s place, and you would have thought there was a huge concert going on there. The whole parking lot was full of cars and people. They were waiting to get into the store at midnight for the big deals.
Kohl’s was opening at 4AM. Lots of other places are opening at 6-7AM. Absolute insanity and I refuse to contribute to it.
Update on the items from Oprah’s list that my gf’s work sells: they’re out of stock in 1.5 days. The actual company who makes the product (who made a special item JUST for Oprah) is out of stock of the item as well. My gf said that women are calling from Korea, Canada, and every state in the US wanting “what Oprah had on her list”. It’s unreal. I’d love to see the sales spike for the items on Oprah’s list. Women are going batshit for things that Oprah TOLD to them to go out and get. She’s like a mesmerist…… I can’t imagine what kind of power she really wields.
You know she gets all these items (and many, many, many more) for free in hopes that she merely mentions them on her show. Apparently, companies submit things to Oprah in hopes or making her List. Absolutely astonishing. This is how the rich get richer. Imagine never having to pay for a single item or luxury, ever again. Imagine people breaking their own necks to send you a top-of-the-line-product of theirs for free in hopes that you like it!!!
I believe on her show (that I watched with my gf as she wanted to see what Oprah said about the product-the boutique where my gf works), Oprah said that the people of Macon Georgia (where the “Favorite Things” episode was broadcast from) were her biggest fans. I believe she said that the percentage of the population of Macon who watch her show when it airs daily was in the 45% range. FORTY-FIVE PERCENT OF THE POPULATION OF MACON GEORGIA WATCHES OPRAH’S SHOW DAILY. That’s insane. Oprah could tell these women to shit in a paper bag and put it in a storage bin, and they would run to the bathrooms to force themselves to shit because Oprah told them to do so.
Then I think of things like “does Oprah think all of this is absurd, but she likes all the attention-free stuff” or is it more like “does Oprah really feels that the good Lord created her solely to give her opinion on things and that she is 100% correct and irrefutable”?
I’m at work on Black Friday. I’ve worked every Black Friday since I was a teenager. The mall out here is almost pandemonium. Carson’s is full to capacity. It’s like they’re giving things away. I walked down to JC Penny’s to catch a woman screaming at a poor salesperson at a register because they were out of a particular doorbuster item. This woman was irate. There’s something sad, disturbing and pathetic about an adult throwing a temper-tantrum over a $39.99 sandwich-maker.
I have a show tonight and I can’t wait. The place should be absolutely packed and I hope we deliver. Holiday crowds are usually very receptive and welcoming.
The Bears will lose on Sunday. I have a good start with my Fantasy Football this week (I started Brett Favre and he torched the Lions), but I am going up against the guy who destroys everyone week-after-week, and has a 10-1 record. I need my rb’s and wr’s to come up big on Sunday. I want a win.
One of the kids just came in to work dressed as an elf and asked me if he could be “X the Disgruntled Elf”. I honestly don’t think people get it sometimes. We have families and kids out here. I told him “hey, how about we flip it and you are the happy elf? Disgruntled is cheap, takes no thought and takes no real effort.” No one wants to see the disgruntled elf. It’s been done a million times and all that negativity spreads into everything else that’s done today, and infects the rest of the staff. Not on my shift. Today, we’re going to be positive and kick a whole lot of ass, and then at 4PM I’m running the hell out of here and barricading myself in my apartment until 9PM.
Tue
20
Nov '07
Seriously.
Today, Oprah had her “My Favorite Things” episode. How do I know this? My lovely girlfriend works at a place that is carrying two of the items on this ‘list’, and we watched Oprah to see if Oprah mentioned the place. She didn’t, but my god this was one of the saddest/interesting/ridiculous/pathetic and self-serving things I’ve ever seen on television.
How did Oprah become the second coming of Christ? I mean, really. She made a list of things she likes, and people are SCRAMBLING to get things on this list? Members of her studio audience got one of EACH of the items on Oprah’s list. The list is here:
http://images.oprah.com/download/pdfs/presents/2007/holiday/oft/gifts_oft_print.pdf
Digital camcorder, body butter, shoes, DVD Box Sets, watches, clothing, mixing bowl, and a $3,000 refrigerator were some of the items.
I have no idea how Oprah got so famous, but God Bless the United States because only in America can a phenomenon like ‘Oprah’ happen.
Thanks to UPS and their very ‘reliable’ delivery information, I missed a delivery today (second time). They said they’d be here between 10:30AM and 2:00PM. They showed up at 2:37PM (of course). I guess sitting in my apartment like a hostage from 10:30AM until 2:00PM wasn’t long enough…..
The Bears still suck, but how do you only give Benson 11 carries if after his first touch he goes 43 yards and scores a touchdown? I think we automatically assume that a head coach and associate coaches in the NFL are intelligent. Apparently, they’re just as big of an idiot as most other ‘regular’ people are.
I can’t believe Thanksgiving is this week. Where the hell did 2007 go?
I still love that XM Radio.
I didn’t get any of the three commercials I auditioned for last week.
I finally got the Iggy Pop book I’ve been trying to locate. Thank you Indian Prairie Library. I also checked out the Paul Potts CD. Look up his name on YouTube and you’ll understand.
I have to get up off of my ass and do something.
Thanks for reading.
Sun
18
Nov '07
Hello faithful readers.
Another week has come and gone, and as usual; I’ve got some observations/things to say.
“The Holidays Are Coming!!”
Trust me, I know…. While I can understand the happiness that comes with the holidays this time of year, for me they are always a huge source of frustration and inconvenience. Everyone and their brother is off from work for some reason during this time. Kids (who are never in school to begin with) are once again out of the classrooms and everywhere I don’t want them to be. Traffic becomes a huge snarl and people mutate into giant assholes. Everyone wants everything for free, and no one has any patience.
I can’t help but admit that I absolutely hate this time of year. Everyone’s in a rush to get those gifts, and it’s a total nightmare to be anywhere but inside your own home. I’m past the age where a huge snowfall is something I wish for. Snow is a completely unnecessary hindrance and I wish it never happened.
Work gets insanely busy and we see the nasty side of people each and every year at this time. I’ll be the happiest guy in the world once Mid-January of 2008 rolls around and this Holiday block has come and gone.
FILE UNDER “DUH!”: Authorities now say that Drew Peterson’s third wife was the victim of a homicide and not an accident. Here’s how this movie plays out: As a first time husband, he was loyal and a nice guy who starts to develop a controlling and cheating inclination that he eventually actualizes.
He then gets into the police force and becomes drunk with the power it gives him. He because the controlling/cheating/beating second husband, the murdering third husband, and then the more calculated fourth husband - learning from the mistakes he made with his first killing. I’m not sure how it ends, but in this world: anything can happen.
Let me get this straight: a family ‘created’ a fictitious peron named “Josh” on MySpace to ‘get information about their own daughter” from one of their daughter’s classmates? In the ensuing ‘relationship’ the family developed with this poor 15 year old girl, they eventually told her (through the character they created named ‘Josh’) that she was fat, ugly and a slut; and this harassment caused the 15 year old girl to hang herself? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?
The Bears: God Only Knows what will happen. All I know is the Hawks are routinely beating the dreaded Detroit Red Wings this season, and I absolutely love it. Oh, note to Detroit: you can have Ben Wallace back whenever you want him. What a bust.
Today is Fantasy Football Sunday, and I can’t wait to miss every game this week due to work and family commitments. Ugh.
I missed the shows this weekend. I have been working like a madman, and I just couldn’t make it on Friday night. I was a zombie. Instead, I had a very nice, relaxing evening at home with my wonderful girlfriend. I made a tuna casserole and we watched some movies on the couch. It was just what the doctor ordered as I was well-rested for the long Saturday PM/Sunday AM shift I went through.
I can’t believe it’s almost Thanksgiving. I really can’t.
I’ve started the Power 90 again for real, but sometimes all I can do is a ton of sets of pushups because I’m at work long hours. So far, so good as I’ve gone 10 days in a row. I just have to make the effort and I’m all good.
I also purchased an XM Radio Online subscription. I love it. I have been listening to X Country (Cross Country) non-stop. My God what a great station!!! I love it.
Now, go to YouTube and search “Bucket of Love” and watch my KFC Commercial.
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